Why Singing Stops Feeling Good: The Hidden Trap That Breaks a Singer’s Confidence

In this episode, we'll talk about the trap a lot of singers fall into: losing their joy of singing by focusing on singing technically "right" or "perfect."

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Transcript

0:03

If you are tired of not making progress and you're ready to be the artist, you know you're meant to be, you are in the right place. You are listening to the Singers Path podcast. The Path or performing artist training hub will cover everything including singing tips that actually work, advice from top industry professionals and life-changing mindset shifts out with the Starving artist and in with the Thriving Artist. I'm your host, Sarah Bishop, professional singer. Actor, educator and entrepreneur. I'm not afraid to speak the truth and stop the gatekeeping of quality information so you can actually become the artist you dream of being. So let's get on the path, shall we? Even though we're all on our own journeys, it always helps to have a guide. Hello, hello and welcome back to the Singers Path podcast. It's me, your host, Sarah Bishop, and today we're gonna talk about something interesting that I think a lot of prose run into at some point, and any singer that's at any level that's studying their voice. Can cross paths with, and these are more or less the cons and traps that you can run into when you're actually studying the voice. And what are really common things that I see in students, um, what are common, basically like mental and emotional hurdles that a lot of people seem to go through around their voice and what we can do about it to, uh, make that easier. Um, what to watch out for so we can monitor and really protect our joy around singing. So first of all, I wanna just let you know I am attempting to do the TikTok Live and podcasting at the same time. So if I'm responding on TikTok Live to be like, Hey, yeah, I'm answering questions about what I'm talking about. Or if someone's like WTF are we talking about right now? Um, you're gonna hear me do that. Uh, again, um, you know, it's super, not super great for my A DHD brain to do this, but you know, sometimes I'm good at multitasking. I like to tell myself, so that's why we're continuing to try to do this because it till it kills it, tills two. Coats with one stone, it kills two birds with one stone For me, um, to start to engage more in TikTok live and do this at the same time, and like sometimes there's some really delightful interactions that happen on live. So all that to say, if you guys like this, like say you're a podcast listener and you're like, you know what? I would like to listen to this live. Um, you should tell us when you're doing that. Let me know if that's something you like. If not, if you don't care, then cool. Um, so yeah, so let's talk about this. So this double-edged sword that I talk about, so when we study singing, okay. Especially if you come to someone that's me, like me, a vocal technician, you know, and there's a lot of different vocal professionals, voice teachers, uh, vocal coaches, those are actually two different things. Um, I actually ended up changing my TikTok. Uh. Bio to say vocal coach now because I do that a bit, although I do a lot of voice teaching and vocal technician work as well. Um, but that was mostly a move to do better SEO search and to be, to show up more in people's searches because most people use the terms vocal coach and not voice teacher. Um, so that's why I did that. But those technically are different things. Um, a voice teacher. Like I said, is someone that's more of like a vocal technician on the pedagogical side. Um, so they understand, you know, the muscles and the airflow and like technically how to get the voice to do different things. Versus a vocal coach can be a little bit more broad in the musical theater space. That will be someone that's a little bit more about, uh, like acting through song and storytelling through songs. So sometimes vocal, like I, I, I do like the term vocal coach 'cause a vocal coach. Can be inclusive of a voice teacher. Um, I've seen some vocal coaches that are great at shaping a piece and they also have great pedagogical background. Um, but that's not necessarily the case. Whereas if you go to a voice teacher, like they should absolutely 100% have pedagogy background and really be trained in understanding some, anybody can call themselves a vocal coach and not really have training. Um, but anyway. There's some differences there. And that's kind of a, you know, an A DHD thing. Um, but let's say, okay, you, you go to a voice teacher or a vocal coach, a voice teacher's definitely gonna help you more with like the pedagogical, technical side of really their goal should be getting you the sound you want in a healthy, sustainable way. They shouldn't really be making you do things that. Are gonna ultimately be harmful to you. That would not be a good voice teacher. Um, a vocal coach. Can either in the musical theater world help you with like the performance of the song in addition to that, or just do that. Some, some vocal coaches just teach performance of song. They don't do anything vocally. Um. Really, that's why it's confusing. Um, another, uh, example of a vocal coach is someone that does like vocal production, that's different too. So vocal production would be like the vocal styling and the colors that exist, uh, in the studio. So say you're going to record your album and like, there's actually some really good content creators, uh, that do just vocal production. So it's about like when you're on the microphone and you're laying down your. You know, your album at the studio and you're trying to understand how to get the most emotion or the most, um, the most story that you want out of your album. They'll sit there and they'll be like, Ooh, can you like try this? Can you sing through your teeth? Can you, can you change the vowel to sound like this? So it's more about like. The finished emotional product, specifically from the listening standpoint. Whereas a vocal coach, a vocal coach in musical theater is gonna be about the storytelling and acting. A vocal production coach would be about the emotion that we get from the sound of the recording. Okay. So anyway, I bring this all up because whatever your goal is with your teacher, most people that start out learning to sing, their goal is gonna be just learning how to use the instrument. So when you're starting to. Learn how to play your voice, right, which is more or less what it is Sometimes. Um, we get really specific. So if I'm putting voice teacher hat on here, like the technician, when you go to your voice lesson with a voice teacher because you're learning to play your instrument, we can get really particular. Um, especially if you have a teacher that is really well-trained and like, has really good ears, you can get re like, it'll probably start out more broad, like just get into chest voice, just get into head voice. Just learn how to blend. But then when you as a singer want to do more things that are more difficult technically, then the adjustments get really nuanced. And this is where, in my opinion, the inner world that we have as a person. When we're doing such subtle nuance changes physically can really affect how we show up in our voice, right? Like the more advanced you get as a singer, really you become more of an artist. So you really then, like anything that's going on in your internal world is gonna be reflected really, uh, clearly in your voice. Um, so. The thing like I originally began this episode with, and just to catch the people on live who are listening, who were like wt, if you're talking about, well. I'm talking about some catches that happen in this journey where you're, where most people when they come to singing, it's the most pure expression and way to return to themselves, to a lot of people that, that have singing. Whether you're a good singer or not, singing is like one of the most pure and deep forms of self-soothing. We often are sung to as children. Um. It's, you know, we learn through music when we're younger, we learn through singing. It's in our places of warship. It's sometimes with your family, you'll hear it's, it's a great part of our culture. So singing at its purest form. Is something very sacred to most people, whether you're good or not, right? It is. It is a, a vessel that can be used for healing yourself and soothing yourself and having joy, like the power of singing and the vibration and energy that's stored in the voice is like sacred. Um, and you can actually, there's been studies done of how. Vastly and positively singing can help your mental health, especially if you're doing so from that place of soothing and surrender and joy. And what I'm saying is there's a snag that happens sometimes with professional singers especially, or people that have chosen to get better and develop their instrument because they're becoming serious about their instrument or they want to use it to the best of their, um. Their ability. Yeah. On, on, on TikTok, there's someone that that said, uh, 10 seconds in and she's cooking. Um, yes, I know, right? Well, listen, on this Singer's Path podcast, which if you guys wanna listen to the whole episode when this is done. Yeah. I only cook. I've been, I'm been slow. I'm a slow steamer. I'm a slow cooker On here. We, we only cook and we eat on the Singer's Path podcast. Okay. But let's get to the real snag. What ends up happening in people, which is, I've been talking a lot about grief in this season because 2025, I don't know for you, but for a lot of people, um, I hope not for you listener if you're listening to this now, but I think for a lot of people it was, it had a little bit of 2020 vibes. There was a lot of peeling back of more or less grief. Things that were not aligned or not working were made very clear to a lot of us, I feel, and that was very clear in my own life. Um, as to old ways of operating that just simply could not come with me anymore, had to be addressed and looked at, and I had to allow them to fall away. And with that kind of clarity and looking inside and stillness and patience with yourself, to be still enough to be with those truths are often accompanied with a great deal of grief. And so all of this to say, when we choose to study something intensely, especially on a professional level. Anything technical, we take something sacred and we start to learn how to quote unquote do it right. Right. So it takes something that once could have been really natural. Um, and, and I say this all the time, but I think a lot of, lot of people. Who, um, start out singing typically have a style that they're better at. Um, so it's a head dominant style or a chest dominant style. And also, someone commented this on TikTok Live just now. When I say these, um, different things, uh, describing different ways of singing, um, everybody's gonna have their own language for it. So, um, when I mean chest dominant singing, I mean more based in speaking, singing, um, holding onto that more contemporary, uh, leaning into belt kind of sound. Um, sometimes it can even be if you belt something and you're calling something, um, that can be a very primal and very natural way to sing for a lot of people. And then there's another group of people that sing in a very heady way, very naturally, like I was born that way. And I think sometimes it has to do with the kind of music that you listen to. Um, it has to do with a lot of your internal stories about what's soothing to you and also what you find pretty, or what you identify with or what's easiest for your instrument to express. Okay. So. I think a lot of singers are typically pretty naturally good at one or the other. And I always tell my students like sometimes it doesn't align all the way with how they wanna express later in their life. So then they come to me and I help them technically learn how to play their instrument in another way that aligns more with the kind of music that they want to make or the music that they want to express. Okay, but what can happen, and this is the snack. Is that when you're taking something that is actually at the core of it, it's both. Okay. It can be very natural, very intuitive, um, when it's done from a surrendered curious place. Paradoxically, it can also be very technical. And especially if it's a style that your body is learning to do that doesn't, uh, that is a shift away from how you naturally came to this world singing, then paradoxically, both can be true. Singing can be both natural and easy and aligned with us. And an easy thing for our body to do, especially when we're surrendered to the process of it as it also can be very technical and specific, and the trap that people run into is that they, they, um, abandon more or less they reject, especially if they're moving towards making a sound because they want to express that way and they have somehow assigned the way that they naturally sing as being bad or wrong. They actually end up casting. Into, I'll call it shadow or shame, there's a whole thing about that. Um, but they more or less cast this aspect of self that sings in this way into shame and go, well, that's not right. I can't sing that way. And they turn their entire focus and attention onto singing correctly. I've witnessed this more often than not with a lot of people that were classically trained, especially, there's, uh, a lot of rules. Um, and I know as I'm speaking about this, I know very well I'm a vocal technician, like I teach people. I, I, I like to say I don't necessarily teach people how to sing right or wrong. I just teach people how to use their instrument in other ways and hopefully in ways and. That feel more freeing and more aligned to them so they have more options. That's what I look at. Although sometimes, like, and I know this growing up also being studied classically, and this is not to rip on classical study 'cause there's a lot of positive things about studying classically, but because it's an old way of thinking, it tends to be more conservative. Um, there's some to, there's sometimes tends to be like pride in a story attached to studying classically. Like this is the right elite way of singing, which will bring. I have a lot of opinions about that. Some of that I believe is like based in racism and Western culture and like I have a whole slew of opinions about that. I actually did a whole podcast episode on the belting series that I did back in the summertime. So if you wanna like hear about that, like the split off of how belting was started to consider to be dangerous or bad. Like I've done some research on it and I, you know, accumulated, you know, maybe a thought piece more or less on why that is. Um. But more often than not in the classical world especially, we can really drift from our joy when we become so obsessed with changing ourselves. And I know if you're listening and you're like, well, Sarah, the whole fucking reason I'm shown up to voice lessons is to be able to change, to be able to grow, to be able to do this, this, this new coordination to be able to sound a different way. Yes. And paradoxically, if you take the way you sounded or the way you feel about your voice and you cast it completely into, I'm not that anymore. I can't be that. I have to learn how to do it right. You know, this is not acceptable. I have to change. What that actually is, is a reflection of self. It's actually self abandonment. It is possible to. Prioritize coming to a lesson, practicing learning, a vocal coordination for the sake of having a new vocal color. And hold yourself in gratitude and appreciation for what you have and accept and enjoy where you're at and at the top end of the priority no matter what. Keep the joy you have for singing and the soothing and your story, your relationship around your voice as being the most important thing. I believe it is possible to have both, but as someone that has. Drifted in and out of this, and I'm actually doing like a series right now. I hope my phone doesn't die, by the way, while I'm on live. I'm not sure. It might, I don't know. Um, but I've done this for myself in December, um, which is exploring ways to heal my own relationship with voice. Because I'm gonna talk about this in a second here. Um, and there's probably gonna be another ad that plays, 'cause I know you guys are hearing about about it a lot, but it's my job to show up and tell you about it so you know about it because this is gonna change some people's lives. Like it's a big deal. And that is in the inner circle, right? Like. This new membership that includes a, uh, neural rewiring, uh, program that was co-created with a therapist that uses neuroplasticity and hypnosis and nervous system regulation to help us hold us, right, learn to hold ourselves through looking at these stories of, Hey, I'm a professional singer. I used to love singing. What the fuck happened? Like when did I lose my joy with singing? And what's really important for me and everything I make is to keep integrity and to keep transparency, and keep honesty, and to really own that. Like just because I co-created something with other people who are experts in those regions. And just because I've also worked through these stories myself, and I'm trying to be as vulnerable and open. About them as possible. It doesn't mean that I have them all figured out, right? And also means that I need to walk in integrity and do that work myself. And so I am no exception to being someone that, you know, once used singing as something that was holy and sacred. It was actually at 1.1 of the only ways that I could return to myself in a world of chaos that I was in growing up. And. It was, it was probably the most valuable thing that I had in my life. And when I'm talking about all of this grief that I've navigated throughout this year, the way that I've learned to hold myself through doing the work that exists in the Inner Circle membership, right, that we're bringing to you, I realized that, you know, there's a part of me that's quite upset with myself. Um. That this thing that was so sacred and holy, we decided to go all in on. And then through the academic pursuit of it and through helping other people. I got so caught up in perfectionism and overanalyzing and the technical side of my own voice that it became all cognitive and not from a place of feeling and from myself anymore. And so through this series in December, this is part of that journey of returning to creativity and then thus walking the walk and talking the talk, not just trying to sell people something to heal their own creativity When I'm not doing that myself, right? So in December when I'm. Like returning to my creativity and I'm returning to lean into this healing of relationship with self. Um, that's what I'm doing is basically taking things that exist in the Inner Circle membership, which is specifically in the portion of the membership. That's the spotlight series. That's the hypnosis tracks and the exercises that actually actively get you to do those things. Um, I am basically learning to return to, to basically energetically clear. Where I have charge and stories around my instrument, allowing them to breathe and be with them. And also notice kind of along my story of developing my voice and strengthening my voice. Where have I, where did I break off from that innocent, pure love of singing. And that's what I'm gonna kind of, if, if what I'm talking about makes sense to you. Um, remember I always love to hear from you guys. If you reach out and you send me emails, that is so meaningful to me to know people are listening. Um. And I just love connecting with you and the whole reason that I am transparent about these stories,'cause I just don't think people are talking about them enough. And I just, I feel like I can deeply connect with people that are meant to find me. So if this does resonate with you at all, please, please, uh, first of all, rate us a five star written review. That always really helps us a lot get to more singers and more artists all over the world. Or if you just wanna connect, like please feel free to send us an email at singers path@gmail.com. We always love to hear from you guys. If you've been chasing your dreams and you still feel stuck, exhausted, or secretly wondering if you missed your shot, it's not your talent. It's your subconscious wiring and your nervous system. That's why I created the Singer's Path Inner Circle, which is an exclusive membership that gives you access to career counseling, to live calls, to exclusive content, and. The very special spotlight system program that we built with a therapist using real neuroscience and nervous system regulation tools, you'll heal the blocks that kill your momentum, your money, story, stage, fright, fear of being seen, and finally create from confidence, not chaos. And right now, if you take advantage of this founding member launch, that's only happening until January 7th. You can get in for less than $2 a day. That is less than a subway ride, guys. And that rate, if you get it while this founding membership thing is going on, you get to lock it in forever. Even if the price goes up later. No, if you join before January 7th, 2026, you get to keep that rate forever. Doors open Thanksgiving, unless you're listening to this and I decided to release it earlier. So let's make 2026 the year you stop surviving your dream and you finally live it. Details are in the link in the show notes, or go to Sarah Bishop vocal studio.com to check it out and I'll see you in there. So let's talk about this. So basically what I've just been talking for the people on TikTok live. I was just saying how the, the tricky part that happens with singers when they decide to pursue voice is that in the pursuit of taking something that's very sacred, um, to them and soothing to them and really was all for them up until this point, something they're really good at. And then deciding to pursue it and look at it from a very technical, analytical standpoint. A lot of people at somewhere along the way get split in which they lose their joy because it becomes all about the perfectionism and um, kind of over analyzing of the sound. And they don't prioritize their joy. They, they lack the prioritizing of joy. That particularly did happen to me. I think sometimes, like I said, there's a double-edged sword of understanding pedagogy. Even when I became a teacher, you get really heady, like. I know all of a sudden, right? Everything that's fucking going on, and I teach people to do that too. I teach people I want singers. There's both, right? I want you to understand how to use your instrument enough so that you're not frustrated that you're stuck, okay? You're stuck in not being able to express in the way that you want. Okay? So there's that. And sometimes we just wanna turn off our brain and sing the damn fucking song, right? We don't wanna keep analyzing and fixing and changing. And what I learned about myself when I was doing this, if you're on the email list, please, if you're not, please join. Um, there's a lot of really good tidbits and free stuff and stories and all kinds of stuff on there. Um, you can always check that out. On, uh, I think it's my Lincoln bio, but I'm not really sure. It's on my website for sure. Um, it's called The Secret Singer's Digest, but I have some email sequences coming out that are more or less about when I kind of notice this happening in this grief pattern of like, oh, like I used to like not really know anything about singing. Like I took lessons but still didn't fucking understand it. And in a way, in one end of this paradoxical spectrum, like that actually freed me because I, I didn't really have an agenda. Although there is part of me that was extremely frustrated because I couldn't express the way that I wanted to, that's why I discovered exists. So you can start helping yourself express the way you wanted to. But there was like this sweet spot that I kind of, I'm working on, can we be knowledgeable of how to use our instrument and can we also surrender to the expression and not be like overanalyzing and fixing all of the time, right? So when I say, when I tell people like, Hey, get discovered, get pillars, like you're gonna condition your voice. You Als. There also is a time where you need to put it the fuck away and just sing the damn song. So that's more or less at this time, what I am integrating that was the grief that I've been processing is, oh shit, like at some point. Really what was happening was my story of never being good enough and always like this deep desire to need to fix myself started to take over the most sacred thing to me, which was my voice. And as I was working through that this year and continue to work through that this year. You know, all of the emotions that accompany that of being upset with myself that that happened, how could I let this happen of being upset that, you know, the, the truth of it is just like never feeling good enough, or always feeling that something needs to be fixed, you know? All comes back to these internal stories, which is why I opened with this when I did the live room, when I started this podcast episode. It's like the more advanced you get, at some point you're gonna be redirected back to the inside because the voice is so deeply connected to our soul and the stories that we hold about ourselves. So if, if this kind of zigzaggy, I know I'm kind of winding around here a little bit. But if this resonates with you at all, I really, really, really wanna invite you to check out that Inner Circle membership, because this is what it's for. This is what it's designed to do, is to help you hold yourself back to finding your joy with singing again. And there's many other things that it does too. But this is one of the most powerful parts. There's actually a whole program about it. Um, there's two old programs about it. There's an artist Self forth program that talks about developing that strong relationship with voice, looking at whatever stories you have around your voice, like mine was, well, it's never good enough. And actually, if I'm totally transparent, it had to do a lot with my relationship with my parents and singing a kind of music, right? I rejected how my voice naturally sounded because really one of my parents. Um, even though I love them dearly, they just weren't interested in the kind of music that I naturally sang. So then because I wanted the attention of that parent, there was a part of me that went, okay, well if this parent will only pay attention to me if I sing this type of music because I want their love and affection, then I need to learn to sing that because my voice seems to be the thing that makes me special. But you know, this parent still doesn't. Pay attention to me when I use it, so I have to do it in a way that will get their attention. Like that was another story that I like deeply uncovered beyond the, oh, it's just never good enough and I have to constantly fix myself. Oh, it's also that I'm trying, like what is the actual goal in trying to constantly change my sound by years of study and all of these things, and it's like, oh.'cause I'm actually chasing this other need. So the Inner Circle membership will really help you get really clear on all of these things, what is personal to you, and it will help you reclaim and lead yourself back to. A relationship and cultivate a relationship that you actually want to have with your voice in the singing so that it can be both. Like and it can be, but that's, that's what I mean. It's the trap, right? That just as much as we wanna focus conscious attention. On learning to play our instrument. We don't wanna be in a position where we're blowing out our voice or we're mishandling it, or we're not able to express the way that we want. Yes, yes, yes. All of that exists. We need to train because of that. And at the end of the day, the thing that is the most sacred is your choice and expression and how it makes you feel and how beautiful it is. When you're in that relationship with self. And so if you've noticed that your relationship with self has drifted and you're caught in this, like, I mean, it really feels like, what, what the fuck am I doing this for? Like, I used to love singing. I don't really understand. Um, this used to be so simple. I'm in my head, nothing sounds good. Even if you're in just like total self-criticism mode and you like. Literally, it's almost like you have like, um, vocal dysmorphia. Like you can't, anytime you hear yourself, you can't really hear yourself because you're in such a critical relationship with your voice. Again, this is, this is why, uh. This Inner Circle membership needed to be created because there's just more to it. There's more than just doing scales. There's more than just learning to mix and mix belt. There's a sacred relationship with voice that needs to be addressed and nourished and nurtured, and. I think a lot of us get away from it, especially in those big institutions, and it can be fucking devastating. And sometimes, I've talked about this on socials and people just don't fucking get it. Like I've said, like, oh, when you. When you reject how you naturally sound and are always trying to fix yourself and sound like someone else, that's a form of self abandonment because of the example that I gave before, it can be, right, I'm an example, oh, I need to sound like this because this is what I've learned is what will get me love and attention from these people, or X people, or, this is what's gonna make me feel safe, is I have to learn to sound like this. Like, that's a fucking fact, right? Like I, I learned that about myself and then I was able to heal that with stuff that's in the Inner Circle membership and continue to cultivate that relationship. But when I've spoken about that openly on Instagram or on TikTok, you know, this is vulnerable shit to be sharing. But I think it's still important for people to know, because I hope it gives you permission to look at this for yourself. But I've gotten hella fucking kickback for that, which is I think's. Fascinating, fascinating speaking. Something that is just very personal to me in hopes of creating a sense of safety in someone else, right? Or a permission slip or whatev. Just even listening and hearing to someone else's story can often be validating or open. Up, you know, curiosity and exploration for self. Right. But I've had people like be real pissed of like, that's ridiculous. Oh my god. And, and, and honestly, when that happens, they just quite literally miss the fucking point. Like, that's really what it is. It's like this person like gave me such flack and was like fucking tearing on my page.'cause they were like. They were like, that's ridiculous. Like mimicry is like the most basic form of learning voice and like clearly you don't understand that. And like it's like ripping me apart. And I was like, yo, you really fucking miss the point you, I obviously parroting sounds. Is part of learning voice you like? That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that when you deeply dislike your own voice and have rejected your natural gift or what you were like, God given, because you, no matter what, have decided it's never good enough. That is a rejection of self. Sorry. And if you don't understand that, like good for you, like I'm happy for you that that is never crossed your path because it's devastating. For singers when, especially if they al always, if they did at one point have a good relationship with voice and thus a good relationship with self. Like again, like I said, voice was a way to return to soothing, to return to, to, to equalize, to, like, I used to use it in a chaotic household. It was my safe haven. It was the one superpower that I had to, to return to something that felt safe. So anyway, all that to say, I hope this kind of vulnerable sharing is helpful to someone. And if this sounds even remotely familiar, even remotely pick like. Perks your ears at all, and you value your relationship with your voice and yourself. You're realizing you're at a pivotal point where you're like, you know what? I'm not willing to stay in this like sticky goo with my voice so much anymore in the sense that like be on this hamster wheel. Of like honestly never feeling good enough or like really having a difficult time returning to singing or like this used, you're recognizing this used to be such a, a source of joy for me and I don't understand why, what happened. And it's like you're kind of going through a divorce with yourself, right? Right. And you're singing, um, it's just you feel like you need couples therapy with you and your younger self with this voice. Right. If that's at all the case, please and. Um, I don't know, maybe Amanda won't run the ad if I've talked about this a lot, but maybe she will. And maybe you'll just have to listen to it again 'cause like it's my job to show up and let you fucking know about it because this is important. Okay. If this is even remotely familiar, this is just a small part of what is present to help support you and help you to learn to support yourself. In the Inner Circle membership specifically, this, these, this is like a combination of two programs. The Spotlight System, uh, which is that program that's only included for members only. Um, and so yeah, so this, this, that, those programs are in artist self-worth for voice. And healing a relationship with voice. And this is also in creativity and reactivating creative play. Um, and I'm gonna wrap up with this. So like I, 'cause I, I don't always want this to just be like big long running ads. Yes. Obviously these are ads because it's, I'm a business then I need to make money. Okay. But I hope to leave you with some nuggets. Okay. And these nuggets are this. I'm gonna give you this, this, uh, starting point of how you could start to heal relationship with self through voice, and any feeling of self abandonment that you're realizing that you have through studying voice too intensely, or, I mean, that's not even true. I just think we all run up and up to this. This is just part of it, right? Like, don't lose sight of the love and joy and the soothing that you have around voice. Okay? And this is how you can start. I'll give you the first nuggets of how to start to heal this. A, you gotta reclaim, play and messiness y'all. So like you can actively sit down to practice. And this can be my a mind fuck. And another reason why you need to be in the membership so that you can actually hold yourself like with literally like brain rewiring to help you and help like the tools to help you regulate your nervous system. Because some people get too fucking triggered by this and they need extra support or how to learn how to do this. Um, so. But, but this activity, which can be activating for some people is to literally do it wrong. Do it loud, do it badly, do it messy. Do it in a way that that shocks your system a little bit to the edge, and then learn to hold yourself through it. That's like one of the first steps. Okay. Obviously you could shock your system too much, right? If you like, have a hard time opening your mouth and standing your voice at all. And every time you do, you're like, I'm never fucking singing again. And you get up and leave, okay, that might be an edge. That's a little bit too much, right? So in the artist's self-worth voice, there's like a whole exercise and learning how to, we call it titrate, titrate your, your nervous systems ability to withstand discomfort. Um, and really what this comes down to is allowing yourself learning to tolerate and love yourself. Through imperfection again.'cause when you're a kid, you don't really give a fuck if you're messy. Right? You don't give a shit what it sounds like you're just singing, right? So in order to invite that part of us back into the driver's seat again, because that's the part of us that's gonna help us be creative and plays our inner child, you have to start letting them be a little messy. Like letting them sound bad, letting it be bad, right? That's the first step. And even that can be deeply activating for people. So. The second nugget I wanna leave you with here, um, to help you in this, this first step of like vocal creative recovery. Like how can we, like what does it mean to really love our voice? How do we return back to something that used to be natural after studying voice for a really long time? Right? And this is the, this is again, this is, you're gonna be held through this and walked through this. And I kind of mentioned this, um, but this will be deeply explored again in the Inner Circle membership, which is. Observing as like, so say you're making sounds that you don't like and you're activated and you're like, God, this sounds like shit and da, da, da. It's the first step is also just simply observing the sensation of being uncomfortable. Can we first start with allowing whatever emotion or charge is present with us in this moment with the sound? That also is a whole treasure chest of golden nuggets of where and how we've actually attached to stories around our voice, which is fascinating. Like honestly, the brain is insane and another reason why like this stuff can go. Fucking deep. Deep, okay. Again, especially story, it's like connected to your fucking soul, right? It's, it's your story of your humanity. So another reason why it was really important to me when I was developing the inner, the Inner Circle membership, specifically the Spotlight system, which is this hypnosis program that's neuro rewiring, healing your creativity at a deep molecular level. Why it was so important to bring on people that I trusted. That are experts in this, that specialize in this, that have degrees in this right now. I always have to say this. I'm sorry. I have to every time, just because if you get the spotlight system does not mean you're receiving therapy or care from any of these people, right? They are therapists. They are professionals and somatic and nervous system regulation and all of that stuff. They are hypnotists. They are professionally, you know, educated people with degrees. That does not mean that you are in a. A contracted therapy relationship, right? A therapist client dynamic, that's not happening, right? They're allowed to teach you tools that you can help yourself with, but just because they did it does not mean that you're receiving therapy from them. So I always have to say that. Um, but, but this kind of internal. Observation is a really, really important part of returning home to yourself because when you're observing what the stories are as they're happening, when you're singing, right, and if this, if you're like, I'm interested, but I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. All the way, like, just, just join the membership, we'll help you. Okay? But it's like the only way out of this sticky relationship is through building a relationship with self. Okay, and this is how you do it. The first thing is not rejecting and pushing down sensations that are coming up. It's being present with them, learning to hold yourself through them. So even when you're singing, if you're like, oh, I'm noticing, I'm like really fucking frustrated right now on this note, like I'm so fucking frustrated on this note. If you continue to just allow yourself to sing and be present with a node and. Learn how to regulate your system so you're not like fucking going in a fight or flight or some shit. You're not leaving your body, but you're able to be with the sound and you're able just to notice like, oh, like I noticed this like kind of orange burning sensation here, or. I notice like my heart rate's picking up, or I notice like, oh, there's like a memory that comes up around that. Like when you just allow yourself to start being curious about like what's in there, that's where serious, serious breakthroughs can happen, and when you can start to cultivate a better relationship with self, thus returning back to actually truly loving and using your voice for the whole original purpose you started singing for, which is to soothe and to really, really return to a feeling of home. So anyway. I hope these, these ways of just starting to reflect on where our relationship with self can deeply affect our voice and our relationship with voice, if that even just started to ignite a little bit of curiosity. Remember, please, please, please check out the Inner Circle membership, and I'm begging you to do it before January 7th, 2026 because I want you to lock in the lowest rate possible, okay? I want you to get it low. I want it to be, I want it you to get it for less than $2 a day. That's important to me that everybody in their fucking sister knows that it's accessible, that it's less than a single subway ride. It's less than your coffee order. But the results and the, the things that you will get out of this are invaluable. I, I know that because I'm doing it and I, I have done it in other areas of my life. And if you don't, you know, you're like, well, how then, look, I did three whole episodes, um, about it around Thanksgiving, so you guys should check that out. Um, how doing the internal work, like literally shifted my whole life and my relationship with artistry. So all that to say, I hope you guys have a wonderful, wonderful evening. Or whatever time of day it is when you're listening. And um, just some food for thought. Get your but in the Inner Circle membership. And I will talk to you later. Bye-bye. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a five star written review on Apple Podcasts. This helps me get this information out to more artists all over the world. Let's work together to spread the joys of music. Until next time, I'm your host, Sarah Bishop, signing off from the Singers Path podcast. Thanks for listening.