Why Your Manifestation Isn’t Working (It’s Your Nervous System and Subconscious)

In this episode, Sarah breaks down why manifestation often doesn’t work the way artists expect — and how the real block isn’t your mindset, it’s your nervous system and subconscious. 

She explains how your body can subconsciously reject the very opportunities you say you want, especially when they feel too unfamiliar or unsafe. Through personal stories and behind-the-scenes audition experiences, she shows how identity, past experiences, and subconscious patterns directly impact your ability to receive success. This episode reframes manifestation as something practical, embodied, and deeply tied to how you show up — not just what you think. If you’ve been doing the work but still feel stuck, this will explain why.

Most artists don’t struggle because they aren’t talented.
They struggle because they’ve been conditioned to play small, second-guess themselves, and operate from survival instead of certainty.

The Inevitable Artist Activation is a 14-day challenge happening throughout May that’s designed to completely shift that.

This isn’t about surface-level mindset work or forcing yourself to “stay positive.”
It’s about rewiring the patterns in your body and identity that keep you stuck in cycles of inconsistency, undercharging, overthinking, and feeling like things almost happen—but don’t fully land.

Over 14 days, you’ll be guided through a powerful process to:

• Release the need to shrink or apologize for your talent and ambition
• Break out of “just enough” income patterns and open yourself to real overflow
• Understand how your nervous system impacts your ability to receive opportunities and money
• Step into the version of you who no longer waits to be chosen—but moves like it’s already done

This is for the person who knows they’re meant for more…
and is ready to actually become the version of themselves who can hold it.

Click HERE to join the Inevitable Artist Activation 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

If you're tired of not making progress and you're ready to be the artist you know you're meant to be, you're in the right place. You're listening to the Singer's Path Podcast. The Path or Performing Artists training hub will cover everything, including singing tips that actually work, advice from top industry professionals, and life-changing mindset chips. Out with the starving artist and in with the thriving artist. I'm your host, Sarah Bishop, professional singer, actor, educator, and entrepreneur. I'm not afraid to speak the truth and stop the gatekeeping of quality information so you can actually become the artist you dream of being. So let's get on the path, shall we? Even though we're all on our own journeys, it always helps to have a guide. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Singer's Path Podcast. It is me, your unhinged host, Sarah. And today, you know, we're gonna do something a little different. I've said this on my content, and I and I know you've heard me kind of dip in and out here in this space as well, about just how like witchy and unhinged I am and where that crossover exists in, you know, my very public persona of being a crazy voice teacher. However, I'm trying to segue more into like artist lifestyle development. I mean, in this intro, it's like we take you from starving artist to thriving artist, right? Like that's part of it. And with that, we gotta talk about some uncomfy things and some fun mystical things that I know all of you are doing behind the scenes anyway. But when I hear friends talk about this particular subject that we're gonna start to get into today, and I'm gonna talk about how I'm gonna be doing an event, it's gonna be amazing. It's you know, it's gonna really reactivate some stuff if you feel like you've been on the slow delay train with your goals and wishes and having things come to fruition and all of that. Um, so I'll get to that here in a second. But I, when I talk to friends about this subject that we're gonna talk about today, I hear all kinds of crazy shit or like basic shit where I'm like, yo, I don't know that that's how that actually works. Okay. And this challenge that I'm gonna be talking about here in a second uh is gonna be the thing that really is gonna make it less basic. We're not beige Becky's up in here, okay? I think you can, if you're on the live right now and you've seen my content, I think we've witnessed a shift, right? I've given a lot of fucks, I've given zero fucks, and then I went to give too many fucks again. And now I'm back to zero fucks, okay? So during this time, uh, we're going to be unleashing, we're we're letting the cows out, okay? And so what is what is the actual subject you're talking about, Sarah? You know, that thing where like you don't really quite get to the point, you just talk about something else, and like what is the point? Okay, we're talking about, I'm a little bit nervous to talk about this because I talk about this all the time, but not here. Okay, I'm gonna say it. We're talking about manifestation, motherfuckers. We're talking about manifestation. And what I'm saying isn't your basic bitch subject of it, okay? It's how you are choosing to act and how that's reflecting in your reality. And yes, it has to do with singing, so we'll talk about how it has to do with singing, but it has to do with just living your life, okay? As artists, you know, we know our art is our life, our art is our life, okay? And we like to tell ourselves we're so in touch with our internal world and we're and a lot of you are witchy as fuck. Secretly, y'all are closeted about it. Closeted. I but I know, I know by talking to you that everyone's secretly like, oh, I do this and I do this and I do this. And yet, and yet, why haven't we come together to create a community with it, right? We all know we do it, we're just like afraid of what people think. And that's the ironic part of being an artist because we think we're so healed and developed, and yet we're so afraid of what people will think of us, even though our whole job is supposed to be overcoming what people think of us so that we can actually become who we authentically are and express in the way that we are meant to express here. But until we actually do this internal work and get real with our freaking selves about, you know, what's holding us back, why are we not choosing to embody the version of us that actually, you know, gets the things we want? And we're not actually specific about how we're manifesting when we're basic bitches about it and we just have our vision board and we call it a day and we hope and we wish and we pray and we write in our journal and we think that's gonna work. Yeah, that's not actually how it works. And just like everything else in my brand, if we're gonna have some kind of cross, crossover, okay, as I'm coming out as the witchy bitch I am, okay, the other thing we'll cross over is I am anti-bullshit, okay? And listen, I've lied and bullshit in myself for a long fucking time. I've made all the excuses, I've gone through all of the shit, okay? And I will tell you, it is harder, more painful, and slower to continue to succumb to your own bullshit instead of getting real, having an actual system about it. And some of that requires actually internal reflection. And yes, again, I will incorporate how that has to specifically do with singing, but really, you know, having living your life and embodying this in yourself, right? Any kind of manifestation is a mirror from your internal world to your out your external world. So singing is the same way. There is a link. How how you view yourself and how you approach singing is how you approach a lot of other things. So there is a link. Um, I I I just said uh I had someone, it's so complicated. I don't know if I'm supporting it or not. You know what? That's fine. Why don't you just take a listen here? Why don't you just take a listen on how I'm gonna talk about things, right? When I talk about singing, again, anti-bullshit, not about sugarcoating things, but also not about oversimplifying it and like lying to you about how the process works, right? The first thing I want to talk about here before even we dive into the manifestation principles, and this has to go with singing, this just goes with life, okay? There's paradox that exists in everything. So that's the first thing we need to get our brain on board with. Singing can be both simple and complex. It's both. And you're like, Sarah, that doesn't make any fucking sense. Well, then you need to understand what paradox is, because just as one thing exists, the other thing also exists. Grief and love are paradox of each other, right? When you grieve, that just means you loved something deeply, right? That means that something you loved was lost. They cannot exist without each other. Grief and love are alternating energies that are present, okay? Just as you could sing naturally and wake up and do the most natural thing possible, you could also desire to do something that is like vocally very difficult and very technical and will take a lot of work and um, I don't know, adjustments and internal reflection to be able to unleash that sound. Can you sing at any moment doing your dishes? Yeah. Do you want to sing like Celine Dion? Okay, that's a little more complex, right? It can be both simple and paradoxically complex. Okay. So that's the thing that also applies to manifestation. Okay. Now, and again, if you're on the live, well, can we hear you sing? I have many videos of me singing, and you can go to my page and watch those or go on YouTube or go anywhere else. Right now we're podcasting, so we're not gonna sing. Okay. So let's talk about this. The first thing about artist manifestation, again, don't y'all come at me being like, I don't believe, I know you do. If you're an artist listening to this, there is a part of you that knows you're a creator. Okay, you create things into reality, right? That's what you do. You make things out of nothing and you create something into existence. That's why artists are really powerful, okay? But we have a lot of low self-esteem because we're listening to a lot of societal messages who are telling us that, you know, we're really not that important and anything that we do isn't really, you know, that beneficial to society. And actually, paradoxically, if we're gonna talk about that, it is one of the most arguably the most beneficial things we can do, especially in times of chaos. Especially in times of chaos, because we reflect what it means to be human. And when we're losing our humanity to AI and crazy administrations that are doing genocidal, horrific things, right? Artists are the ones that reflect humanity back to ourselves and all of its spectrums. Okay. So I forgot my point. Let's get back. Paradox exists. Okay, we know that. We know that. And in the chat, if I like get off on a tangent and I don't remember what my original point is, make sure you remind me. Okay. So paradox exists. And okay, this was it. There's there's a part of you that understands that you can create something magical out of nothing, but there's also another part of you, probably, that's like, well, I don't want to be crazy and I don't want to be delusional, and I don't want people to like think that, like, you know, I'm playing God or I'm doing something evil. Maybe manifestation's evil. Maybe if someone finds out about it, they'll think I'm crazy. Right. And there's so many layers to that. There's a whole witch wound, there's whole things of like, you know, we could go into deep dives into possible philosophies of past lives and that kind of thing, where maybe at another point in time you had had spoken your truth and had, you know, subscribed to something that felt really authentic to you, and then something bad happened. And so your body remembered, okay, that's not really safe. So any kind of resistance that you're feeling over this concept of manifestation, I just want you to notice it. Okay, just notice it. Notice what is your philosophy around the idea that just like in your art, you can make something incredible out of nothing. Why can't that reflect in the rest of your life? And again, most of you are gonna be like, yeah, no, this is totally real. And when I booked my national tour, I totally manifested that. Or when I found my partner, I totally manifested that and all of that. And the truth about manifestation is you're doing it all the time. Okay. It doesn't have to be as like ethereal and witchy and woo-woo and mystical if that doesn't feel good to you. I love it. I think it's delightful. So I talk about it that way because why not be a fairy smuddy magical bitch? You know what I mean? Like, why not? This is my life. I choose what brings me joy. So of course I lean into the mystical. If that doesn't feel good to you, you don't have to do that because it's also in science, it's also in how the brain works. There's been research done on how the brain detects things, right? There's quantum physics, there's neuroscience that all speaks about this. And if you're at all curious about any of that and you're like, I like what this bitch is fucking saying. She sounds cuckoo bananas, but like I'm down with it, right? We do all of this. I break down all of this with many professionals that I have come and teach in the inner circle membership. That's where we bridge this, you know, our career goals with what's blocking us in our artistry. And that's where we really do the deeper work. And again, done by just some of the most incredible professionals that I've ever had the pleasure of working with, we've created a system within that membership that helps you dig deep and uncover the things that are actually blocking what's coming through for you. And also like going even further and doing extra classes and somatics, nervous system regulation, all the things I'm gonna talk about. I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of touch on here as to how that is affecting what's coming into your life. So inner circle membership, wonderful. If you want to check that out, that's that's linked in my bio and linked down below. Okay. It's it's like where artists come to not accept bullshit in their life anymore and say, you know what? No more of this. Like, I deserve to reclaim my joy in my art. I deserve to have the things that I want to come true in my art. I deserve not to feel icky about money anymore. I deserve to like honestly have the life that I want. Okay. So we do actually do some manifestation stuff in the inner circle. But anyway, we're not really focusing on that today. We're gonna keep moving on. Okay. All right. So another thing, if if we can just get on board with the fact that part of the reason that we are not manifesting well is because we have an icky relationship with claiming that. Because sometimes we go, well, I'll be crazy, like I'll be delusional. I had a client once that was like, you know, I really want to believe that this can happen for me. And because I was like getting on their ass being like, listen, you're doing all this functional work, okay? The only thing stopping that from clicking is that your brain, your system, and your subconscious does not believe that it's possible for you to be a good singer. And here we are looping in some of the singing stuff, okay? I'm going, hey, so the one thing that's keeping you from your next level, like with the functionality of your voice, is that you can't get on board with the fact that maybe you could be good at singing. You are still living in the identity that singing is hard for me and I have to work extraordinarily hard for this to be good. And so that's where some of this crossover can happen, where you are not identifying actually where your brain, where subconscious narratives, where past experiences are holding you up and keeping you stuck. And that can be seen in your life, and that could be seen whenever you're pursuing anything, including your art. Okay. So if we can get, if we can identify any of this resistance that we're here feeling around coming out about manifestation, oh, I don't want people to think I'm crazy on, you know, I don't want them to think I'm delusional, right? This client was like, I don't want to be too delusional because what if I'm bad? What if I'm still bad and I think it's gonna happen for me when it's not? And I'm like, okay, so you've already put in the evidence and the work. You feel very called out. Yeah, sorry. You've already put in the work. If we're gonna look anywhere, okay, guys, if we're gonna look anywhere, I want you to take stock of how far you've come as evidence and proof that you can go that much further. Instead of going, I see where I want to go, and that might not happen for me yet. And I'm not really sure if I'm gonna get there. If I haven't gotten there yet, then maybe I'm just crazy and delusional and it wasn't for me this whole time. And I'm going, How very fucking dare you shit on all of this work that you've done. And you're looking at the glass very half empty right now when I'm seeing it as proof of if you've come this far, look how much farther you can go. Right? Now, are some singers born with more skill than others? Yeah. Are they born farther ahead with more talent? Yeah. But can anyone get better? Yeah. Can I say that everyone is gonna sound like Celine Dion and Mariah Carey? No. But everybody can move their needle from where they are, okay? So if you're having this imposter syndrome of I don't want to be crazy, I don't want to be delusional, I don't want to be, I don't want to think that this is possible for me, and then maybe what if it's just not? And I'm like, okay, well, what if it's not? What's gonna happen? Right? What what choice makes you feel actually well? This is the question. What choice feels safer and what choice is actually more in alignment with your joy and believing in yourself? Okay. Of course, the choice of, well, if I just never really let myself do it and achieve it and dream it, or like allow myself to imagine it going well, right? This is bridging in a manifestation. I never allow myself to rehearse embodying that this could happen for me. Well, then maybe I can just hope and cling on to the possibility of it happening instead of actually trying and seeing what happens. That feels safer to me right now because I can hope, I can hope and cling on to a vision and always wish that I could see if it came true versus actually seeing whether it does in real life. Okay. So that for most people feels safer. I would rather play with my idea of something than actually take the action to embody it. Okay. Because when I embody it, well, if it doesn't happen, then I'm a fool. I used to think that. I used to think, well, who am I? Who am I to want these big things? That's I'd be pathetic. That was mine. I'm pathetic if I went for something that seemed really big and scary to me at the moment. And really, what that was, guys, was I was judging other people. And I was afraid of that judgment being reflected on myself when I squared away with being like, okay, so what if I'm pathetic? Can I love myself even if I'm pathetic? Even if I turn up not being able to do it? Can I accept that my life is mine? And can I have pride that I at least went for it and was in joy in the process and learned so much and was present for every moment? What is actually better, right? And listen, you have free will. You can choose to not go after something if that if you would rather take the safer route. That's fine. It's your life. But again, so many of these artists, so many of you have these big goals and dreams, and yet you're not allowing yourself or you are half-assing, rehearsing it going well, actually happening. So many of you are worried about it not happening. Why? We all know that what we rehearse was singing. If you do the same thing over and over and over again, that's the thing that sticks. That's the thing that sticks. You're rehearsing it to go badly, so it's gonna go badly. We know how important rehearsal is, so why are you not rehearsing it coming true? Oh, well, then if it doesn't, I'm going crazy and I'm I'm protecting myself. No, you're just guaranteeing that it won't happen, which is safe. Because here's the other thing. When you decide and choose that you're not gonna really play safe, you're not taking the safe option, you're doing something different, and you declare that you are the kind of person that this happens for. You are the kind of person that can focus and and do the thing and trust and trust the unfolding of whatever that ha whatever that means, right? That is different from how you have been previously behaving. Okay. And as we're gonna get into here with these manifestation kind of rules of thumb that people are fucking ignoring, you will only manifest what your nervous system is capable of holding. That's why it hasn't come in, chickadees. You can only manifest what your subconscious can get on board with and what your nervous system is capable of holding. What the fuck does that mean, Sarah? Well, anything that's perceived as different than how you've been functioning is unsafe to the body and the nervous system. Their jobs are to keep you alive, not have your dreams come true. I am so sorry. That is not how we were designed. Okay, and so what your brain does and your subconscious does is it remembers it to keep stock. Anytime you're getting close to the identity of, okay, this is this is changing how my life is. This is this is moving me into a different direction from where I currently am. It's gonna take stock real fast. Oh my god, this is like the time when I was in preschool. And it was like the time then all the kids were mean to me and I didn't have any friends. So if I'm too different, then then then I'm gonna die. That's what it is. That's what it is. You have no idea the things that your body and your system and your brain are holding on to in the subconscious that you are not aware of. Okay. So part, hello, part of this process is understanding, you know, what is taking up space from these things coming in that you've been asking and praying and vision boarding and journaling secretly because you won't own the fact that you love manifestation, right? You've been just like hoping, wishing, and praying that it'll come true and you don't know why it isn't coming true. But really, it's because A, you're holding on to things that are taking up space and not allowing it to land, or simply because your body is like, well, if this comes in, I'll die. If it comes in, I'll die. So we can't have that. And then it's affecting your behavior, your energy, and how you show up. Now I'm gonna talk about here um in this first episode when I'm talking about manifestation. I've probably do a couple more because we are doing this challenge that's coming up. Um, it is called the inevitable artist activation. If you're on the live right now and you want to know when this challenge is happening, go to the link in my bio. I have a sign-up for a wait list. Um, I will be dropping when it begins in the beginning of May, but like just to make sure you're the first to know and you are on board, right? And the inevitable artist activation is all about making manifestation like less of a basic bitch dreamboard activity, like an actionable, step-by-step, artist-driven, focused activity. Because here's the other thing. We know a lot of artists, it's gonna be harsh, but it's true. Once you're removed a little bit from the audition cycle, the grind, the studio politics, all this shit, you start to kind of realize just like how enmeshed and like psycho uh enabling and toxic lack that exists in the culture of being an artist. The well, I guess I just should be happy with anything I get. And like, sure, we want to be in gratitude. But when you're like constantly, again, making decisions that are out of alignment because you're in desperation, because you really need this job, because you're not actually looking at filling other areas of your life, okay, then it's gonna be a little hard. Okay. So, and then there's so much of that, it's so rampant. So, by me declaring that I'm a witchy manifestation queen and I have been secretly doing this work for probably upwards of 10 years now and have not come out about it, okay. I am I am holding the torch and I'm going, yo, we're all fucking doing this secretly, but you're kind of doing it wrong. So I want to help you with it. Okay, just like how we talk about singing, okay? Yes. All right. So The reason this has come to a head is because, and I'm going to talk about my own story here a little bit and where I currently am. And that's because recently I had my eyes wide open as to how my own bullshit narrative and stories, and not that it's bullshit, because it comes from it comes from really tender parts and younger bits of me, right? That I have had the privilege of working through deeply and doing deep work with so that I can actually have the wherewithal to see them and notice them without judgment. Um, and I'm no longer fighting against them. I'm just kind of noticing and then kind of clearing the space and seeing. I'm like very much in space right now, okay? And yes, and someone says such a compassionate take. Well, yeah. So that's the other thing about manifestation that people aren't aware of. As we're gonna peel through it, we're gonna, we're gonna just dive the fuck in and this inevitable artist activation for sure. But self-compassion is a huge piece, okay? And not self-compassion in enabling bad behavior, self-compassion into learning how to truly hold yourself and make yourself the container that is able to receive the things you've been asking for. Okay. So, all that to say, I've been doing a lot of work, okay, on myself. And it's just, it's just an uncovering and unknowing, very similar to how I teach voice. It's just a deeper uncovering to understand what's going on in there. Okay. It's a deeper, it's forming a deeper relationship with self so you can express more authentically. It's really what's setting voices, okay? So, and I kind of I talked about this in a piece of content. If you want to go check that out, you can go to my TikTok or Instagram. I think it, it's, it's sort of blowing up. I don't know, it's not mega viral. Um, but it's when I recently, you know, was kind of got a fire under my ass, being like, yeah, what am I choosing? Like all of that stuff aside, all these bit like little parts and these younger parts that are actually accidentally coming into the driver's seat and taking control, right? Um, of all of that, what am I still choosing in my action day to day? And so I started to reimagine how I'm actually enabling myself being stuck, right? I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck. And I'm just like focused on how stuck I am. Instead of being like, oh, actually, though, what am I choosing that's causing me to be stuck or feel stuck? Okay. So that was the fire that became under my ass. Um, there's a lady on TikTok named Raina Campbell Campbell. She's incredible. So go check out her stuff. I think her business is called House of Yes Frequency. Um, so that really got me thinking about things differently. So if you want to check that out, go check that out. Uh I there's someone on TikTok. I spend so much time being jealous of other artists, accomplish their wins and goes. Yeah, okay. So this would be perfect for you. This would be perfect for you because we are gonna untangle that. Okay. Um, because what you're doing is you're looking outside of yourself as proof as to why it hasn't happened for you and why has it happened for them? And so you've actually created more space between yourself and the thing, instead of being like, instead of looking at them as evidence and proof that if they can have it, you can have it. Right? It's it is about tiny reframes, but really it's choosing these reframes moment to moment to moment. And paradoxically, remember when we were talking about paradox? Can we tend to younger parts and offer self-compassion without necessarily like I think depending on where you are in your journey of self-development and and learning, you know, knowing yourself, there is an element of wanting to get curious and doing that deeper work of where some of these things originate and where they're coming from, right? Again, that's another reason why the inner circle was created by professionals to make sure it's trauma-informed so you can go deep in things related to your artist and other elements of your life and feel supported in that way. And always, you can always reach out to a professional to kind of the therapy of it all, like go through your trauma and all of that. Um, because it is helpful to understand where some of this comes from. But at a certain point in your journey, you're gonna kind of see what's happening, okay? And you're gonna need to choose different, right? You're gonna have to go, okay, I love you, I'm compassionate, and this is okay that this happened to me. Well, it's not okay that it happened to me, but I see you and I love you, these younger baby parts, IFS, right? Internal family systems of it all. Um, I'm not gonna let this control my narrative anymore. So I have to show up in a different way. But when you choose to do that, more often than not, because it's different from how you've been operating, your body is gonna go, right? So then it becomes more about somatics and nervous system regulation. Okay, so hopefully that kind of makes a little bit more sense. And then, and again, I'm only speaking about my journey. I only know my journey, but I I have noticed that for a lot of neurospicy brains, a lot of artists, doing the somatic work um actually can be even more beneficial than just talking about and rehashing things because it addresses the body and where the energy is stored in the body. And when I just said earlier, if you're trying to manifest and embody this version of you that gets your goals and the body is gonna tell the truth, the body is not gonna lie. The body holds the your resistance to that thing coming in and it affects how you show up and you behave. Okay, so that's why somatics is wonderful because you don't have to necessarily, you know, dig through and understand everything. You just notice the sensation, you give it breath, you allow it to be there, which also offers a sense of self-compassion because you're being present with yourself without an agenda to change. Okay. So, anyway, all this to say, I got a fire under my ass. I'd been doing this work for a long time. Raina Campbell is awesome. And so I was like, you know what? This is really interesting. And I, and it started to shake up my energetics. And so when you start to do like take a really big action like that, um, it starts to kind of jostle the around you, right? The 3D of what you're seeing in your life. Okay. And at this time, I got um multiple auditions. I think it was Easter weekend, it was maybe a month ago. I got um a bunch of auditions in one week. And I went, oh, like, and what's interesting is this was starting to get me to think about things differently. How was I responding to getting these big opportunities? Okay. Before I would have completely lost my goddamn mind that I had an audition for a lead on Broadway. I would have been like, oh my God, right? And and and partially like, oh my God, like this is amazing. But that level of excitement still made it seem like that was outside of my reality. When really people on Broadway, if they get another Broadway audition, they're like, okay, right? It's normal, it's neutral to them. So instead of going, instead of allowing myself to fully freak out, I noticed the difference of how I'd come from even five years ago and how I didn't freak out as much. Okay. I was like, okay, I'll get to work, right? However, when I sat down to tape said auditions, it was wild. Now, the first audition, one of them was four or six Heart of Stone. Okay. And I never thought that I would be able to sing Heart of Stone because it's like the yeah, that was like really hard for me. Um, it was right in a spot that felt unstable in my voice. But mind you, again, one of the elements of doing fantastic non-basic manifestation is taking action and actually developing skills that allows you to, you know, get uh more on board with the fact that you can actually accomplish what you're saying, right? That action step of developing skills is a necessary part. You can't just like wish and think and not take any action. That's entitlement and that's not how this works. So I had been busting my ass for the last five years with my voice. And so when this audition came around, I was like, oh, I don't know. I mean, maybe I haven't tried to sing this in a couple years. Like, let's see what happens. Turns out I could sing it really well. And I was like, holy shit, I can do that. Okay. So when I wasn't rolling the tape, okay, I wasn't rolling the tape, I could sing the shit out of the song. Okay. However, when I went to film the audition and stood in front of my fucking basic ass blue screen and put my tape on and did the music, the back of my neck, every time, as soon as I pressed play, went and affected how I sang. And I was like, what the literal fuck? Like I I would like pause it and sing it perfect and then play it again. And it was like, I could not get a good take. And I was like, wow. So instead of being like, well, I did crash out a little bit because I did probably too many takes of it trying to like get it perfect, right? Which is again a control aspect that's that's you know, not trusting that the way that I do it is enough, right? There's so many things that um since we have so little control over things as actors and artists and stuff, especially when we're auditioning and all of that, that we try to latch down on having the most picture-perfect self-tape ever. Okay. And so anyway, I just instead of instead of, you know, completely crashing out, um, although there were moments where I was like, oh, I'm like leaking energetically, like, oh, I'm asking so I'm asking too many people what they think about the cut. And oh, I went over here and I was talking about it kind of a lot, and I wonder why that is. Well, it's probably because I'm not all the way on board thinking that I can do this. I'm not all the way on board. And my body certainly isn't all the way on board because that's what was showing me while I was taping. So I went, huh? Interesting. So that's the gap. Because, and and as I was doing this work, closing the gap of this identity, being like, why can't I just, I mean, I have done the work. I am an expert at doing this. I mean, I teach other professionals how to do this. Why wouldn't I be able to do this? Wait, why? So that was my body's way of giving me an indication, right? The resistance, the trap, it wasn't showing me, oh, I'm not capable of doing this. It's showing me what needs to be focused on and released as far as energy because something about that identity of stepping into that lead role didn't feel safe. It didn't feel safe because it would collapse the identity that I was currently in. I've been whining and begging and pleading to have a lead on Broadway for a decade now. But it hasn't come in because my body sabotages when I get too close. Because actually embodying that identity is too different and foreign to me. There, I also, and that so that was the gift of it all to be like, oh, oh my God. That's what's happening. My energy changes, right? I know because I've been skill building for so long, I can do this at the level that I've been desiring. Like the work has been done. But what's coming in is my nervous system is sabotaging my results because it knows I'm a little too close to actually having this become my new reality. And so I got curious about that and I was like, I wonder why I'm so afraid of embodying this thing that I have been pleading for for years. Okay. And so I go to New York. The other, the other audition I auditioned for, I kind of just did it and was like, fine, it is whatever. Like I wasn't as focused on that. I go back to New York, I'm like doing my routine, I'm like contemplating this and doing this. And um I have the realization, well, first of all, I got a call back for the other show. And I was like, holy shit, right? And that one was actually, again, another lead on Broadway. And I was like, holy shit. I actually did get a callback. Okay. And so as I'm contemplating and being like, oh, six didn't go the way that I wanted, but I got this call back for this other show, like, holy shit. Okay. And I'm walking, and I and and my body starts getting activated again. Oh my God, you got a call back for the lead in the morning show, right? And then I start having all these crazy ass thoughts. And like my head is spinning, and I'm like, what is happening? So instead of being like, oh no, I can't have this happening and like overthinking it, I just went, okay, I'm just gonna notice like what's happening, and I'm gonna notice in my body what's tensing up. I can notice my pelvic floor tense up, my stomach, my throat, the back of my neck all lighting up, right? With the possibility of this actually coming true. I was like, that is so interesting. Okay, instead of instead of c casting meaning to it, I just noticed that it was happening. And so I gave it some breath and I asked it, like, what are you trying to protect me from, body, you intelligent, infinite fucking badass being? What is what is happening? There's some kind of data in here. Okay, and this is wild, and I'll give a little bit of a trigger warning here. The first thing that came up was, well, if you have this and you're too visible, people will be looking at your body. People will see your body and you can't hide. You can't hide anymore. You'll be too visible. And we don't want to replay what happened to you when you were younger and all this body dysmorphia stuff when you're in dance. So we can't have that happen. We just simply can't. We would simply pass away if that happened. We can't relive that feeling you had. It is not safe to go back to that identity. I was like, interesting. Well, what if I'm perfectly in the body I was exactly meant to be here in? Right? And so for that particular piece, because it is tender and that does have some trauma related to it, right? And I've done a lot of work with parts and I've talked to that part before. I've been like, hey, 12-year-old Sarah, that is clearly suffering and very sad and like very scared. And that makes a lot of sense. You like validate it, being like, I see you and I love you, and I'm here, and I'm so sorry that happened, and that makes total sense. Okay. So you like give them space, like you treat it like it's a real person. That sensation actually could potentially be a rejected aspect of self that is stored as energy in the body. Okay. And that is what is coming in, so to speak, in the driver's seat, boom, coming in and making the decision because that part has decided well, obviously, this isn't safe because it will replay what your life was like before. Okay. So if you get too close to this thing, that means danger. Okay. The other thing I noticed while I was walking around was oh my god, if I have this lead on Broadway, then I'm gonna lose my marriage. My husband's gonna leave me. And then I'll die. And I was like, what the fuck? And I asked, I was like, what is this? And it's like, well, this is a completely different identity. This is a completely different timeline. And I'm like, well, we have we have an apartment in New York, like we're prepared. And they're like, Well, well, what if Kyle realizes that he can't he can't do that? What if what if he realizes that you know you're just too much and you're really not lovable, and you have this opportunity, but it's just too hard. And then he has to change too much and he won't be happy and he will leave you. He will leave you. And I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, whoa, body, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And so for this particular piece, this oh my god, I'm not lovable if I achieve things. It actually ended up being a younger part that um felt like compared when they were younger and wasn't supported in the way, they weren't seen in their vision. Um, sometimes they upset people if they did too well or hurt people, or they perceived that as like, oh, when I do well, that hurts other people. So all of that was, you know, being tended to as I'm doing this. And I actually did reach out to my husband and I said, like, hey, I know this, like, listen, I know this doesn't sound logical. Okay. But I leaned on him and I asked, can you send me a voice memo of you telling me that it's gonna be okay, that if I have success here, that you'll be proud of me, you'll love me, that you expect that, that um we will work it out, that it will be okay, and that I am safe to step into this. And he was like, Yeah, easiest thing I've ever done. And then he sent me this voice memo and I have it and I saved it, I like backed it up because I was like, ooh, this is gonna be so great when that element of me, that part of me, gets so flared up because we're too close in proximity to success. So, what I'm talking about here, guys, is this element of manifestation that no one fucking talks about, and it is the fear of the manifestation actually coming through. It is the body's refusal to let it land because it is too different from your current reality, and that difference is seen as a threat. Okay, the difference is seen as a threat somewhere, whether it's logical or fucking not, my subconscious and my fucking nervous system and my body, where it is stored and is intelligent and never lies. Thought that if I have this reality come to fruition, I timeline jump into this being how it is. And I do declare I am the girl that does this, okay, that I would lose my husband and that I would not be safe in my body. Okay. So I kind of reconciled with that and I stayed, I stayed comfy in close proximity with that and loved myself on that, spent time with those parts, and then went, okay, and now I'm the adult now, and so we are gonna do this thing, and um tended to them in a way where they weren't tantruming anymore, right? These younger parts that, you know, thought that, you know, we're gonna from getting success. And so I went to the audition, okay. And when I was at the audition, I was doing pretty good. You know, I would say it was still kind of coded as more of a big deal than I would want it to, right? I want to get to a point where it's so normal and neutral for me for my system to be in final callbacks for a lead on Broadway, right? That I it's like nothing, right? I show up, I'm so grounded, it's so effortless, right? And I've talked to my students about this a lot with singing, that really studying artistry at a certain point is a learning to raise your lowest bar. So if you are activated, you're still fire as fuck. Okay. And two, it's really like auditioning and being on stage and all of that is really just like hardcore, parkour nervous system regulation. That's what it is. It's programming your body to be like, this isn't really that big of a deal, and I got this. Like naturally, not lying to yourself, convincing yourself that that's what's happening. Like that's actually what's being felt. Okay. So, you know, we're we've come a long way. So I try to remind myself of that. If we're gonna look anywhere, it's gonna be to measure how far we've come. Okay. And so I go to this audition, I'm feeling good. And what gets flared up again? I see this girl come out of the audition, she's much thinner than me. And I go, Oh my god, I'm not skinny enough to be up properly. Like she, the 12-year-old got upset again, right? And obviously she did because she's been, you know, she's she's so concerned about her feeling that hurt again, right? And her way of protection is, you know, obsessing over food and again disordered behaviors to control that pain of being perceived in a way that she doesn't have control over, and that that leads to rejection. And then again, our nervous system views rejection as death. Okay. So, um, so of course she got flared up. Okay. So I started to tend to her, and I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay. It's all right, it's all right. You know, this is where we're at, and you know, this is the body we're in, and we are actually safe in this moment in our body. Is there any dangers right now in our body? No, there's not. Like, we're okay. And I like felt in the sensation where that was existing, and we kind of I breathed through it, regulated the body. This is okay. And then I noticed I went into my audition, I did really well. I felt really good about it. It was really grounded again, really great work compared to how far I had come, especially from the mean girl story. I don't remember what episode I talked about, the mean girl story. So maybe, maybe I should have an episode that's like a part two, so you can kind of see the difference of how I've come and how I'm handling myself. Basically, in the mean girl story, I was so dysregulated and out of whack, Casey Nicola had to like get up from behind the table and like tell me to calm the fuck down. Because I was so dysregulated. He was like, Don't make me look bad in front of Tina Fe. Okay. So anyway, compared to that, like casting, everyone was like really, they were really chill and loved my work and all of that. So I come out of the audition and a new voice fired up, which was so interesting. Okay. I noticed that there were everybody else. Well, first of all, the first person that walked in after me was someone that had already played Glinda for like a few years on Broadway, on Wicked. And I was like, oh my God, she already has a she already has a Leon on Broadway. Oh my God. And then another girl walked in that I knew that had like, I don't know, six Broadway shows in her resume. And I was like, oh my God, she's also on Broadway. I'm not on Broadway. I'm not on Broadway. What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here?

unknown 42:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

Um, someone said in the TikTok, when I got called in for my dream show on Broadway, I completely froze. Yeah. Yeah, literally. Like, this is that's that's what happens. Again, this is your bot, this is your system in your body basically being really sneaky and being like, oh, we can't actually have this happen because that will change our reality. And that reality is unknown, and unknown means scary. And so we're gonna have to remind her of all the ways this isn't safe because it would change us if we actually did that. And we're gonna ruin her fun. Okay, we're gonna ruin it for her. So I was like, oh fuck, like this other voice popped up, and I was like, that's so and again, instead of being like, not now, like that's when I teach about like stage fright, again, all of that stuff is also in the inner circle and all that. Um, we really go a lot deeper, and people have loved, loved, loved that particular workshop because one thing that we mention is it doesn't help to deny that the sensation is res existing or like resist it, being like, I can't be nervous, I can't be nervous right now. This can't be happening right now. No, and then you're like pushing it down. Like, okay, then you're just fighting it. Okay. Like it's just gonna rear its ugly head more. Okay. That's not gonna work. It's not gonna help. Okay. So part of it is acknowledging that that's happening. Okay. And then um, oh my God, we can't stop laughing because it's like you saw me there and you know my inner dialogues and everything. Oh my god. That's so interesting. Yeah, literally, I mean, no, no one experience is unique. I think that's what it comes down to. So anyway, yeah, so I left and I was like, okay, so instead of freaking out and then compounding bad feelings on bad feelings, what if I was just like, yo, uh maybe this is just showing me where the gap is, like where I'm still afraid, right? What's coming in to control me collapsing that timeline and bridging that gap? And all it is is data, and my body is lovingly showing me instead of being like, why is it doing it? It needs fixed. No, it's giving me information of where it needs tended to have the thing. It's saying, Hey, you want this thing? Well, this is what's there. So, in order for us to be chill um to hold this, we need to tend to this. And at the same time, we need to neutralize this experience as being like boring and inevitable. Okay. And that's why the inevitable artist activation challenge is called that inevitable artist activation. You are taking things that you have been, they've been in your journal and your vision porn's for years, and you're going, okay, let's fucking get square with this. All right. Let's let's stop making excuses about how the writer strike took jobs and divided inequities really overloaded and all of this stuff. Let's acknowledge for one second that there's a power that's bigger than us, that we're powerful infinite infinite beings. And if we stop making fucking excuses for ourselves as to why it's not happening in our timing, what would happen? And also if we genuinely harnessed what actual manifestation from a neuroscience perspective and actually how the energetics work, instead of being a basic ass bitch, okay, if we got clear on how it actually works, what would happen then? Okay. So again, the inevitable artist activation is a 14-day challenge. Um, I haven't released it yet. I believe it'll be$33. It's gonna be super cheap.

unknown 46:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

It's like$2 a day.

unknown 46:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

And you know why? Because again, and sometimes when Discover is marked down so far, and people are like, why the fuck is this$57? Because that was hours of information. And I'm like, yeah, because I want you to have it. I want you to have it. I don't want, I don't want any of those like bullshit and money excuses and the stuff that you're telling yourself as to why you can't do it, get in the way. Okay. Because that's what the work we do inside other containers helps you with. So I want, I want you to experience something so that you're like, oh yeah, I see, right? I see why this makes sense. Okay. So that's why it's so cheap. Okay. So get in there, please. Um, do the activation. Um, if you are seeing this on TikTok live and it's not live yet, just go join the wait list. So then you'll be notified when it's live and you can sign up to do the 14-day challenge. It's gonna be wonderful. Um, we are gonna be doing more of this just demystification of what manifestation actually is. Um, we'll be telling you clear action steps why it hasn't been dropping in the way that you wanted it to. We're gonna be getting real over what stories are holding you fucking back. Oh, that's so wonderful. Someone on TikTok live just did the um wait list. I love that. That's gonna be wonderful. I'm so excited for you. Um, I'm so excited to connect with you too. And yeah, I'm just I'm just so thrilled to start this conversation with you guys. Um, again, I, you know, I talked about that one sticky point of manifestation that people don't talk about, which is your nervous system not having the capacity and actually pushing away the thing that you want, that you say that you want, because it doesn't feel safe to hold, which is a huge principle people don't talk about. Um, and maybe next time when I talk about here, uh, and we also we also did mention how, you know, people even have a hard time getting on board with manifestation because they don't want to, you know, be delusional or crazy and you know, but they're manifesting all the fucking time. They don't even realize that. Okay. Um, perhaps next time we can get more into how it's a little bit deeper than just your thoughts make your reality. Like, okay. Are Cheerios serial? Sure. Okay, but are they also? I don't know. That was a terrible analogy, but I just I don't know why I thought about that. But like, it's I don't know, it that's like okay, duh, but there's more to it. Like, sure, your thoughts create your reality. That's an element of it. But that's not everything, girl. That's not everything. Your choices also create reality. Your energy that you are admitting because you're a goddamn magnet powerhouse broadcaster has a lot to do with what you attract. So, no, you do not have to think positive until you wanna fucking scream. Okay, that's not part of it. We're human beings. To not expect yourself to have emotions and fluctuations is inhumane. Okay. Okay. Oh, someone said, I really wish you offered private coaching. Yeah, so here's the thing about private coaching, and I'll say this really quick before we end. But I do technically offer private coaching, it's just application only, and there's quite a long wait list. Like right now, I have inquiries to start in the fall, and so that means that possibly applications won't open until like winter, like January 2027. And the reason that is is I don't take very many people at a time, and it's very specific in that container. It's really for people that are like mind, body, spirit, they're ready to get the fuck to work. And we work very intensely for about four months. It's packaged as three months, but it usually extends into four to give people a little bit more time. And it's really about like, hey, we have this problem with our voice, like, we're gonna get the fuck to work. Like a lot of artists who are like professional musicians in other ways use it to like catch up their skill, or say they're preparing for something like going on tour, or they're opening a lead on a Broadway show, or they're developing their own show and they need to work on their vocals to condition them for that activity, or they're releasing an album or something like that. Like it's it's very specific and tiered. Now, if you still want to work with your me and you're not like, well, I'm not really doing that, not really doing that, right? That's why I have lower, lower tier things where you still get the benefits of working privately. It's just a just a different container. Group lessons are fantastic. Everybody still sings individually, okay? And it's yeah, it's it's really beautiful because then you get supported by a group of people. But I know some people are resistant because they don't want to sing in front of other people, they're scared to sing in front of people. Um, but that actually helps regulate you through that and take you to the next level. So group lessons are fantastic. So, and it's not nearly as expensive as it is to work in a white glove way with me where I'm holding your hand and we're working very intensely for four months. Okay. So um, it's just like a way more, I don't know, accessible price point for some people. So that's why that exists as well. Okay. So you can still work with me. You just have to do it in the way that I'm capable of offering it when I have different things that I'm offering, okay? Now, with all of that, I wanna leave you with this. Um, if you have the dream in your heart, yeah, maybe you're meant to do it. And I want you to really ask yourself, how comfortable are you going to be staying and holding on to the narrative of, well, if I don't actually take action on it, then I can still I can still hold on to maybe it could have been possible for me. Versus actually having the cojones to go, yeah, you know what? I'm not gonna like get to the end of my life and not have tried. Because we all know with those studies, when people ask people at the end of their life what they regret most, it's usually because they didn't go for the things that they wanted. That's the regret that they have. And they haven't focused on, you know, healing and building relationships that they wanted. Okay. So don't do that to yourself. All right. Don't hold on to a wish and a hope and a dream because that feels safer, because then you'll never actually get to learn if it came true or not. And what if we just applied ourselves a little bit and got to work? Okay. And with that, I really hope you sign up for the inevitable artist activation. Again, that link should be listed below. It's gonna be super wonderful. Again, it's like I think less than$2 a day or something. It's it's really gonna be fantastic and it's gonna light a fire under your ass. Okay. And we all need it. It's spring, right? Everyone's starting to get out of their seasonal depression. They want to do something. So do that. All right, with all of that, um, I'm gonna leave you guys. Um, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, and I will talk to you later. Bye-bye. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a five-star written review on Apple Podcasts. This helps me get this information out to more artists all over the world. Let's work together to spread the joys of music. Until next time, I'm your host, Sarah Bishop, signing off from the Singer's Path Podcast. Thanks for listening.